• About
  • Contact
  • Subscribe
  • Download App
  • Virtual Summit
  • Benefit Hub for Subscribers Only
SWHELPER | Social Work | Social Justice | Social Good
No Result
View All Result
  • Login
  • Register
  • Home
  • News
  • Culture
  • Mental Health
  • Politics
  • Tech
  • Disability
  • Webinars
  • Podcast
Find/Post Jobs
  • Home
  • News
  • Culture
  • Mental Health
  • Politics
  • Tech
  • Disability
  • Webinars
  • Podcast
No Result
View All Result
SWHELPER | Social Work | Social Justice | Social Good
No Result
View All Result
Home Mental Health

3 Tips For Overcoming A Fear Of Abandonment

Travis LloydbyTravis Lloyd
April 7, 2019
in Mental Health, Social Work
0
ADVERTISEMENT
Share on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedinShare on PinterestShare via EmailShare on Reddit

abandonment

Many people struggle with a fear of abandonment. Losing an emotional attachment can be very traumatizing to anyone. If you have ever  lost a romantic relationship, loved one or friendship you may have a heightened awareness of when there is a potential to lose another relationship.

One girl called this “paranoia”. She sent me an email stating, “I have a fear, paranoia, and obsession about friends abandoning me. When something happens in our friendship I just wait for friends to find fault in me and walk away. It affects me daily any suggestions?”

Often times, these types of fears stem from some sort of previous traumatic experience in which you experienced pain as a result of a loss.  Maybe a close friend or family member, possibly a parent. Issues like divorce or someone moving away that was a strong emotional support for you.  I would recommend working with a professional therapist who specializes in addressing these types of issues.  For now, here’s a few things you can get started with:

  • The best thing you can do is start to train yourself to be aware of the exact moments when you start to feel that anxiety set in that stems from your fear of abandonment.
  • Once you are able to become aware of when you are feeling those feelings then you can identify why.  The why is called the trigger.  Triggers are specific experiences that cause us to experience the same negative feelings as when we experienced different negative events in the past.  For example, if you were once verbally abused and frequently yelled at by an alcoholic father and later he ran off with your older sister’s friend, never to return then you experienced a traumatic event.

    The loss of a parent or caregiver may be your initial experience of abandonment. Later in life, your subconscious mind might associate any argument that results in yelling, with feelings of abandonment.  In turn, you would associate those feelings with a friend who is involved in an argument or yelling at you.  The reality might be that when your  friend was yelling at you, it might be a simple argument and that person cares about you enough to talk it out.  After talking, everything will most likely go back to normal.  But, your subconscious mind is screaming help I’m going to be abandoned again! “You are in control of your life and you can choose which direction to take it.  Every day is another opportunity to make the right choice…”
  • Once you can identify the trigger(s) you can start to train yourself to understand that it is a trigger that is making you feel that way and that it is not likely your friend’s true intention to abandon you.

It takes time, effort and a dedication to being willing to experience negative feelings in order to be aware of them.  If you find it overwhelming to do this by yourself, try asking your friends what they mean when they say or do certain things that cause you to feel anxious.  You don’t have to tell them that it makes you feel anxious, but you can if you feel they might be supportive.  Hearing them say that they will be there for you might ease the process.  Just be careful not to allow yourself to make them feel responsible for making you feel okay.

I will be addressing many issues related to helping you overcome adversities and traumatic past experiences in my upcoming book Overcoming Emotional Trauma: Life Beyond Survival Mode where I offer inspiration and wisdom from the perspective of having been a “kid in the system” and a professional working in the system. Sign up to receive an update when it releases at www.OvercomingEmotionalTrauma.com.

 What’s Got You Down? Do You Have a Question? Tweet @TravisLloyd With #AskTRAV To Get Your Answers!

Share this:

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to print (Opens in new window)
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window)
ADVERTISEMENT
Previous Post

What About Repeat Child Protection Families?

Next Post

The Struggles of Being a Macro Student and How We Can All Be Supportive

Travis Lloyd

Travis Lloyd

As a former foster child who feared his lifestyle would lead to prison, Travis Lloyd dedicated his life to personal development and living a life of passion and purpose. Today, he serves as an inspirational speaker, author, trainer, and consultant offering a wealth of experience as a mental health professional, Registered Nurse, and Adjunct Professor. He is known to share stories of overcoming adversity and inspires others through real life stories, poetry, and lyrics about his life as a youth, and now as a caring advocate. You can watch and share a video about the Impact of Trauma and his latest book at http://www.OvercomingEmotionalTrauma.com or invite him to make a difference in your community by calling 646-535-TRAV.

Related Posts

Do District-Based Elections For School Board Help Minority Candidates Get Elected?
News

NASW Opposes Association of Social Work Boards (ASWB) Exams

February 9, 2023
Journalist Turned Social Worker?
Opinion

Journalist Turned Social Worker?

January 24, 2023
Business

Technology and Entrepreneurship in Social Work

January 11, 2023
5 Ways To Boost Employee Wellbeing
Health

5 Ways To Boost Employee Wellbeing

January 7, 2023
Self Care is a Requirement
Mental Health

From Burnout to Firestarter

January 7, 2023
What is High Performance Culture and How to Create It
Business

What is High Performance Culture and How to Create It

January 7, 2023
Next Post
The Struggles of Being a Macro Student and How We Can All Be Supportive

The Struggles of Being a Macro Student and How We Can All Be Supportive

5 Reasons Why 3D Printers Are The Next Step in Social Change

5 Reasons Why 3D Printers Are The Next Step in Social Change

Leave Comment
ADVERTISEMENT
What Can Be Done To Solve The Foster Care Crisis?

Ending the Therapeutic Relationship: Creative Termination Activities

June 24, 2022
What Feelings Are In Your Heart: An Art Therapy Exercise for Kids

What Feelings Are In Your Heart: An Art Therapy Exercise for Kids

June 19, 2022
Want to Work With Children: 5 Skills and Qualities You Should Be Working On

Want to Work With Children: 5 Skills and Qualities You Should Be Working On

April 7, 2019

Connect With Us

Twitter
FlipboardInstagram
ADVERTISEMENT
Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Instagram TikTok
SWHELPER | Social Work | Social Justice | Social Good

  • Contact
  • Subscribe
  • Buy Merch
  • Download App
  • Terms of Service
https://youtu.be/jWzjyPoSjtw

© 2022 Social Work Helper, PBC

No Result
View All Result
  • Home
    • News
    • Culture
    • Technology
    • Politics
    • Criminal Justice
    • Social Work
    • Education
    • LGBTQ
    • Technology
    • Disability
  • About Us
  • Contact
  • Webinars
  • Virtual Summit
  • Career Center
  • Download App
  • Subscriber Benefit Hub
  • Subscribe
  • Login
  • Sign Up
  • Cart

© 2022 Social Work Helper, PBC

Welcome Back!

Sign In with Facebook
Sign In with Google
Sign In with Linked In
OR

Login to your account below

Forgotten Password? Sign Up

Create New Account!

Sign Up with Facebook
Sign Up with Google
Sign Up with Linked In
OR

Fill the forms below to register

*By registering into our website, you agree to the Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.
All fields are required. Log In

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

Log In
This website uses cookies. By continuing to use this website you are giving consent to cookies being used. Visit our Privacy and Cookie Policy.