The World Cup is over. Germany won. Life goes on, but for some, life didn’t stop much. When considering those for whom sports offers only a brief respect from life, I reflected on the hype and pageantry of the World Cup and the “Late Night with David Letterman” appearance by Clint Dempsey earlier in July. The US National team captain spent a bit of his appearance discussing the phenomenon of faking injuries. I began to think about faking in everyday life. I realized that many fake themselves out of success opting to, as some fault footballers, engage in the theatrics rather than skilled play.
In the everyday beyond sports, the phrase is “Fake it until you make it.” I want to replace that mantra because I am convinced that FAKE is not a sustainable life style. Read on to learn my replacement.
It Was Supposed to Be a Lesson
This mantra has a correlation with solution-focused intervention. As a philosophy, you are to practice the behaviors that correspond with the station you want in life. This intentional action results in lifestyle changes, mental adjustments, and an increased ability (body and soul) to achieve sustainable success.
Where You Went Wrong
You made it about impressing people instead of about learning the HOW. Your behaviors were not practice for something better. Your actions were fake, vain attempts to deceive others. The result is not sustainable success. You are caught in a vicious cycle working ever harder to support a lie. The worst part is that no one is fooled.
You got bogged down in the faking, and forgot to put time into the making.
Change It To…
“Seek the How. Live in the Now. Expect to Wow!”
Seek to learn. You don’t have anyone to convince. Success is not about proving yourself. It is about achieving–living out your potential. Success is a daily commitment to do…NOT TRY…DO.
You are going to make what others call mistakes, but learning assures you that what others call mistakes are lessons you no longer have to repeat. As you gain insight and create habits, success and sustainable choices become the norm for you. Some friends will fall away. New networks will form. Others will want to know your secret. Tell them you believed, but you also sought to learn the how.
Live in the Now. Now, with what you have, with your current knowledge, with your current limitations, what can you do? You may need help. Ask for it bravely. Put together your plan. Consider all options. Work smarter. Gain efficiency with each activity.
Expect the Wow. Fake it ’till you make it was supposed to be about “expectation.” The expectation was that you would make it one day. You need to promote that expectation in your every day.
Fear will try to hold you hostage. But, as with any large problem, address fear with learning, your network, and you motivated action. Momentum rolls confidently over fear. If learning, network, and action are lacking, your task is to bolster, to improve, to jump start them. I’m a coach, so I suggest that you get a coach. You will need someone. What you want cannot be achieved alone, and it certainly will not be achieved in isolation.