Mental Health

Five Reasons to Embrace Conflict

Published

5 years ago

February 16, 2017

Conflict — it’s easy to avoid. In fact, we often do anything we can to avoid it (well, I do) which often means not doing anything. However, within the last 24 hours, I was involved in a conflict situation with a colleague. I won’t go into the detail because it’s irrelevant.

But, the process the two of us went through — an action, a reaction by me that created conflict and then a conversation to come to a resolution — reminded me that, even though it is acutely uncomfortable when handled constructively, conflict can truly have a positive outcome.

Here are five reasons to embrace, rather than avoid, conflict.

1. YOU GET TO KNOW WHAT YOU DIDN’T KNOW

I discovered that, behind the action to which I had reacted, were circumstances I hadn’t been aware of. It’s possible that, had I not reacted, I may have not become aware of these circumstances as quickly as I did.

2. YOU DON’T HOLD GRUDGES

Reacting in real-time stopped me building up resentment and negative feelings that, in light of the circumstances, were illusions — unreality, not reality.

3. YOU LEARN (OR REMEMBER) STUFF

Through the conflict process, I learnt (or remembered) that there was another side to the situation that I hadn’t, for many reasons, been aware of. I remembered that, when someone acts differently, to say, “This is unexpected. What’s happened to create a different than usual action?”

4. YOU GET TO COMMUNICATE OPENLY AND BUILD A STRONGER RELATIONSHIP

Because I was open to resolve the conflict with my colleague and, fortunately, so were they, we had a wonderful conversation where we both apologised and accepted each other’s apology, talked about the wider context we were working in and, in my case, acknowledged projections (of past events and people) that triggered my reaction. This led to genuine tears and hugs — how often do you get those wholesome, healing gifts to become closer to someone in a day’s work?

5. YOU LEARN ABOUT DIVERSITY, COMPLEXITY, UNCERTAINTY AND CHANGE

In the course of our courageous conversation, we learnt about our own diversity more specifically the meanings and understandings we held that were common/similar and unique/different, the complexity of the environment in which we are working and our responses to that; the uncertainty in which we are both working (for us this is quite overt, but its presence is a possibility for everyone); and change (again, obvious for us but, as the adage goes, the one and only constant an every manifestation of our lives).

What can we learn from conflict?

It’s so easy to strive to keep the peace, chill out and not confront things. We see this as a way of creating harmony and getting along. But it’s not. Embracing conflict is not about petty in-fighting and unreasoned arguments. It’s about recognising schisms or differences in opinion or belief as early as possible and naming them in objective and non-affronting terms.

Most of all, constructively embracing conflict requires the desire and intent to foster closer relationships, rather than the fear or reluctance to build them.

Related Topics:communication conflict Conflict Resolution grudges relationships

Philip Patston

Philip Patston began his career 25 years ago as a counsellor and social worker, and he is the founder of DiversityNZ. Philip lives in New Zealand and is recognised locally and overseas as a social and creative entrepreneur with fifteen years’ experience as a professional, award-winning comedian. His passion is working with people when they want to explore and extend how they think about leadership, diversity, complexity and change.

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Global

Trigger Warning: A Chinese Father Saved More Than 300 People at Nanjing Yangtze River Bridge

Published

2 weeks ago

October 1, 2021

Ivana Boyd

“I understand these people. I know they are tired of living here. They have had difficulties. They have no one to help them.” – Chen Si

Since the Nanjing Yangtze River Bridge was first built in 1968, an estimated 2,000 people have died from suicide involving the bridge. According to data from 1995-99, in China’s first national survey in 2002, death from suicide accounted for 3.6 percent of the country’s total deaths. During that period of time, 287,000 Chinese people died from suicide every year, putting the average suicide rate at 23 per 100,000 people.

Chen Si, also known as The Angel of Nanjing, has been patrolling this bridge every Saturday for more than 20 years and has managed to save more than 300 people from death by suicide. He is a 52-year-old father from Nanjing, the capital of Jiangsu province of the People’s Republic of China. Following the loss of a close relative to suicide, Chen Si has taken up this cause because someone needs to.

A Long History

The relationship between mental illness and suicide is controversial in China. Those who follow traditional Chinese philosophy are not encouraged to express their feelings, nor are they encouraged to expect their environment to change to suit their needs. Therefore, intense misery and feelings of despair may go unrecognized, and suicidal symptoms are not easily detected by Chinese medical professionals. In fact, many doctors working in rural areas do not understand the symptoms of depression and often receive low salaries, which discourages more doctors from entering the mental-health field.

Gender Differences

According to the World Health Organization (WHO) statistics, China’s suicide rate in the 1990s was 20 per 100,000 people. In the 1990s, female suicides were higher than male suicides by a factor of three. While China remains one of the few countries with a higher suicide rate among women than men, recent data shows that these disparities have evened out. In 2016, suicide rates among Chinese men and women came up almost even at 9.1 per 100,000 men and 10.3 per 100,000 women. Overall, China’s suicide rate in 2016 was 9.7 per 100,000 people, which was among the lowest globally.

A 2002 survey also revealed that 88 percent of females who died from suicide used agricultural pesticides or rat poison. Although China initially eliminated highly toxic pesticides to improve the safety of its farm produce, the elimination also had a substantial impact on the reduction of deaths from suicide among women. Research shows that men tend to attempt suicide through violent means such as hanging, whereas women tend to attempt suicide with medication. Overall, most studies indicate a decline in suicide rates among all gender and regional categories in China. The studies also recommended targeted suicide prevention programs, particularly for people in rural areas.

Shifting Tide

Women’s freedom, urbanization, and decreased access to toxic pesticides are key reasons behind the decline in suicide rates. According to Jing Jun, a professor at Tsinghua University in Beijing, “female independence has saved a lot of women.” The founding of New China in 1949 in combination with the opening-up policy in the late 1970s and the continuous growth of China’s economy has led to more equitable opportunities for women. Additionally, urbanization removed certain social constraints leading to more freedom for women. For instance, escaping an abusive partner or household may be easier in a city than in a small village.

Despite a decline in death by suicide rates in China, this is an area that we should pay more attention to. Chen Si acts as an angel, but he cannot do this work alone. He hopes that officials consider building a net across the Nanjing Yangtze River Bridge to prevent deaths by suicide.

Resources Available

The Crisis Intervention Centre, the first of its kind in China, was established by Nanjing Brain Hospital to provide psychological advice and support to Chinese people. The Centre also has a hotline, which can be reached at 862583712977.

The Lifeline Shanghai at (400) 821 1215 is a free, confidential, and anonymous support service that is open 365 days a year from 10am-10pm GMT+8.

Facebook and other social media platforms also offer many virtual support groups for individuals experiencing hardship. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 is a 27/4, free and confidential resource to support people in distress, prevention, or in an active crisis. Users should utilize the translate function on these web pages to adjust for language barriers, if necessary.

Mental Health

Can I Ask My Therapist About My Diagnosis?

Published

2 weeks ago

September 29, 2021

Ivana Boyd

“I don’t know if I did the right thing. Maybe I shouldn’t have.”

Power differentials are present within the helping profession and may cause the helpee to feel inferior to the helper, particularly in a client-therapist relationship. Oftentimes, clients are in a position where they feel reliant on guidance from their therapist. If there is a significant power imbalance, clients may be hesitant to ask questions and unsure of their role in the reciprocal helping relationship.

On a Reddit social media post, a female client with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) posed this question: “Can I ask my therapist about my diagnosis?” The client has been working with her therapist who is a psychiatrist. The relationship between the therapist and client is fairly new. During one of their sessions, the therapist mentioned that the client might be autistic but they were unsure. The client was previously tested as a child, but the results did not confirm autism or autistic traits. Because the therapist has not confirmed the client’s diagnosis, the lack of uncertainty is creating terrible chaos in the client’s head, as she would like to know if she is or is not autistic. The client is thinking about repeating this question in her next session but is unsure whether it would be rude, pointless, or wrong. Unsure whether or not her therapist is capable of diagnosing autism, the client has tried to persuade her therapist into revealing a diagnosis, but the therapist redirected the conversation.

“This is something I’ve brought up with reluctant therapists as well. I understand the reasons they may not want to disclose that info to a client, but at a certain point it’s like if you had to go to the doctor every week to get an MRI and they just told you they’re just concerned with working on your symptoms.” – u/HyaAlphard

Informed Consent

An article on Informed Consent written by Annette Johns discusses how the Canadian Association of Social Workers (CASW) Code of Ethics (2005) defines informed consent as “a voluntary agreement reached by a capable client based on information about foreseeable risks and benefits associated with the agreement.” Social workers have an ethical responsibility to seek informed consent from their clients at the beginning of the therapist-client relationship. Clients also have the right to refuse or withdraw consent and to have an opportunity to ask questions.

It is also important for clients to be engaged in the decision-making processes throughout the duration of the therapist-client relationship. In fact, informed consent and full transparency are integral to the relationship between a client and therapist and ensures the client’s right to self-determination, autonomy, dignity, and confidentiality. Social workers should use clear and understandable language to inform clients of the purpose, risks, limits, and reasonable alternatives to services.

Receiving a Diagnosis

Clients should be a part of the decision about whether to be assessed for a diagnosis. If the client is willing, the therapist has a responsibility to disclose the advantages and disadvantages of receiving a diagnosis. One advantage is that receiving a diagnosis can be comforting to clients who have been struggling with symptoms. Some clients find relief and feelings of validation when they can put a name to it, as well as decreased guilt, shame, and feelings of isolation. Receiving a diagnosis can also open up resources for the client and strengthen the relationship between the therapist and the client. However, clients should also be informed that diagnoses can stick with people, following them to and beyond adulthood even if they were misdiagnosed.

Health

Trigger Warning: Holistic Public Policy Can Save Lives From Suicide

Published

3 weeks ago

September 27, 2021

Corbin Standley

At the age of 17, I lost my older brother, David, to suicide. As a gay man in his early 20s, David struggled with mental health conditions and social isolation. His loss affected my family, his friends, and me forever. It was then that I decided to dedicate my life to suicide prevention.

His loss, and the loss of so many others, makes the 2020 data showing that the suicide rate in the United States has increased by 1.4 percent even more upsetting. Michigan’s suicide rate has increased by over 33 percent since 1999, and among young people ages 10 to 24, the rate has climbed by 56 percent since 2007, making it the second leading cause of death for that age group.

Despite these sobering statistics, I’m confident that we can prevent suicide.

In the past couple of years, Michigan has taken great steps toward suicide prevention and mental health promotion. In a past legislative session, Senate Bill 228 established the State Suicide Prevention Commission, and House Bill 4051 established a statewide mental health crisis line. The passage of each of these bills highlights our legislators’ commitment to saving lives – but there is more we can do.

We need a holistic set of public policies that works to promote well-being and ensure safety across all contexts in which our young people live, learn, and play.

For example, in 2019 Sen. Curtis Hertel, Jr. introduced Senate Bill 532 to mandate suicide prevention instruction for K-12 students and professional development training for public school teachers and staff. As of the start of 2020, Michigan was one of only 15 states that encourages such training but does not require it. In comparison, 18 states mandate suicide prevention training but do not specify if it must be annual. Whereas 13 states have mandated annual suicide prevention training for school personnel.

In addition to training, 22 states also mandate comprehensive school policies on implementing suicide prevention education, responding to students in crisis, and handling suicide deaths. Again, Michigan has no such mandated policies.

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP), in partnership with The Trevor Project, the American School Counselor Association, and the National Association of School Psychologists has developed a Model School District Policy on suicide prevention. The document outlines policies and best practices that school districts can follow to protect the health and safety of all students.

Outside of the school, numerous other policies can help save young lives. For example, while federally mandated, Michigan is among a staggering number of states that currently have no laws guaranteeing mental health parity — the assurance that insurance companies will cover mental health care in the same way they cover physical health care.

In addition, 20 states now have laws banning conversion therapy – the practice of counseling or psychotherapy that attempts to change one’s sexual orientation or gender identity. The negative effects of such practices are well documented and include increased suicide risk, decreased self-esteem and well-being, disrupted healthy identity development, and increased social isolation. As it stands, Michigan only partially bans conversion therapy for minors, along with four other states. In total, 20 states ban the practice for minors outright, 3 are still settling the issue in court, and 22 states have no policy or mandate regarding the practice.

As a researcher, advocate, and brother, I know we need policies that are proactive rather than reactive, address multiple contexts, and dismantle the stigma around suicide. We can and must do more to save lives and bring hope to those affected by suicide.