• About
  • Contact
  • Advertise
  • Subscribe
  • Shop Merch
SWHELPER
  • Login
  • Home
  • Opinion
  • News
  • Politics
  • Education
  • Health
  • Mental Health
  • LGBTQ
  • Justice
No Result
View All Result
Post Jobs
Subscribe
  • Home
  • Opinion
  • News
  • Politics
  • Education
  • Health
  • Mental Health
  • LGBTQ
  • Justice
No Result
View All Result
SWHELPER
No Result
View All Result
ADVERTISEMENT
Home Health Mental Health

Self-esteem vs. Other-esteem

Jessica SpencebyJessica Spence
09/25/2013
in Mental Health, Social Work
0
Self-esteem vs. Other-esteem
0
SHARES
42
VIEWS
Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

I’ve been doing some reading on self-esteem lately, particularly how it relates to codependency. According to Pia Mellody, people with codependency tend to have “other-esteem”, not self-esteem. Other-esteem happens when we base our self-worth on external things. This could mean the type of job you have, the kind of car you drive, if your spouse is successful, or if you perform well at a particular task.

beingThe trouble with other-esteem is that it is fragile. For example, if you base your self-worth on your job, car, or ability to play basketball, then what happens if your company downsizes, your car breaks down, or you have an injury?  Often what happens is your world comes tumbling down which is likely to bring on feelings of worthlessness and helplessness.

People who rely on other-esteem are more likely to feel bad about themselves if someone has a conflict with them or if they can’t achieve at a task. They might feel shame or embarrassment if their spouse drives a beat up car or chooses to wear an outrageous outfit in public. They may become depressed if they lose their job due to a disability. In general, having other-esteem makes a person less resilient and less likely to “bounce back” after life throws them an unexpected blow.

Self-esteem, in contrast, deals with your innate worth that you are born with and is not dependent on what you do or achieve. If we have good self-esteem, we feel that we are fundamentally good and valuable, with or without all those external things. A good, worthy person does not need to “do”, they can simply just “be”.

Share this:

  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
Tags: Mental Healthother-esteemPia Mellodyself-esteem
Previous Post

September is National Recovery Month!

Next Post

Standards of Self-Care for Helping Professionals Series 2 of 3

Next Post
Standards of Self-Care for Helping Professionals Series 2 of 3

Standards of Self-Care for Helping Professionals Series 2 of 3

Please login to join discussion
ADVERTISEMENT

  • Ending the Therapeutic Relationship: Creative Termination Activities

    Ending the Therapeutic Relationship: Creative Termination Activities

    94 shares
    Share 0 Tweet 0
  • What Feelings Are In Your Heart: An Art Therapy Exercise for Kids

    694 shares
    Share 0 Tweet 0
  • The Biopsychosocial Perspective to Mental Health and Illness

    3 shares
    Share 0 Tweet 0
  • My Journey as a Teacher and the Future of Education

    0 shares
    Share 0 Tweet 0
  • Fast and Furious Star Paul Walker Died During Charity Event for Philippines Typhoon Victims

    0 shares
    Share 0 Tweet 0
ADVERTISEMENT
SWHELPER

We bring content to support you and the people you care about in their various stages of life. If you are searching in google on how to help or assist a loved one or yourself, check out our content.

LEARN MORE »

  • Terms of Service
  • Article Submissions
  • Advertising
  • Shop Merch

© 2024 SWHELPER.

Welcome Back!

Login to your account below

Forgotten Password?

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

Log In
If You Enjoyed This Post
Join Our Newsletter
Subscribe
Give it a try, you can unsubscribe anytime.
Close
No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • Subscribe
  • Category
    • Business
    • Culture
    • Economy
    • Lifestyle
    • Health
    • Travel
    • Opinion
    • Politics
    • Tech
    • World
  • Find/Post Jobs
  • Contact Us
  • Shop Merch

© 2024 SWHELPER.

This website uses cookies. By continuing to use this website you are giving consent to cookies being used. Visit our Privacy and Cookie Policy.
 

Loading Comments...
 

You must be logged in to post a comment.