According to recent statistics and surveys, more than 10% of Americans shoplift. The vast majority of them shoplift not out of economic need or greed but in response to personal and social pressures in their lives. For most shoplifters, it’s not about the money or the thing–Winona Ryder proved that. Most act out of feelings of anger, loss, disempowerment, and entitlement, and many become hooked, and addicted. Nearly 70% of shoplifters arrested will shoplift again. Have you or anyone you know ever shoplifted?
A related behavior, employee theft, is even more pervasive. The American Society of Employers estimates that retailers alone lose 2-3 times as much from “internal theft” as from shoplifting and that 55% of employee theft is committed by managers and supervisors.
The U.S. Chamber of Commerce estimates that 75% of employees steal from their workplace and that most do so repeatedly. Even “time theft” or loafing costs U.S. employers nearly $500 billion per year in lost productivity. The FBI calls employee theft “the fastest growing crime in America.” Have you or anyone you know ever stolen anything from the workplace?
In addition, you’ve no doubt heard Oprah, Suze Orman, or dozens of others sound an alarm about the growing problem of individual and collective debt and financial “dysfunctions.” The primary culprit is out-of-control shopping and spending. In 2006, Stanford University published the results of its landmark study which identified “compulsive buying disorder” as a phenomenon affecting 6% of Americans (nearly 18 million people).
Men and women suffer about equally from this disorder which often results in lying and hiding behaviors—similar to other addictions—as well as hoarding. Other statistics show that the average American is nearly $10,000 in debt due to discretionary purchases and that arguments about money and spending are the leading cause of conflict and separation/divorce among couples.
Have you or someone you know ever had a shopping or spending problem? What is common about shoplifting, employee theft, and over-shopping or overspending is that they have only recently been identified and treated as mental health issues. Most compulsive theft differs from kleptomania—a rare impulse control disorder that affects 6 out of 1,000 Americans, mostly women from age 20 and up, and which remains the only officially recognized diagnosis for theft behavior.
Theft is typically viewed as merely a legal or a moral issue, as in “Thou Shalt Not Steal.” With shopping or spending, we joke about “retail therapy” and label ourselves or others “shopaholics” with pride. Telling someone with a serious shopping or spending problem to just cut up their credit card is like telling an alcoholic “just don’t drink.”
As a therapist specializing in treating compulsive theft and spending and as a recovering theft addict myself since 1990, I have had the opportunity to help thousands of people over the last 16 years. In 1992 I founded C.A.S.A. (Cleptomaniacs And Shoplifters Anonymous). Only a handful of such support groups exist in the world. While there are more Debtors, Anonymous groups, around, there are no Shopaholics Anonymous groups. Most therapists fail to recognize, let alone effectively treat, people who are afflicted with theft or spending issues. Frankly, most clients themselves rarely bring them up out of fear, shame, and ignorance.
In the mental health profession, we have failed to recognize these behaviors as both widespread and treatable. On most of our basic screening forms, we assess for all sorts of problems but not about stealing or shopping/spending. It may only be when a client is formally asked “Have you ever had a problem with shoplifting, employee theft, or shopping, spending, or money?” that we, as well as the client, may recognize this as a vital and relevant issue.
It takes extreme sensitivity and competence to navigate the waters of a client who has chronic theft or spending issues. Some questions to explore are whether a client can go to stores or back to work; whether they should get rid of certain items or money and if so, when and how? What are “gray areas” they need to be alert to? How do they regain the trust of their family and friends? Indeed, many keep secrets from loved ones and wonder whether to tell at all.
Let’s take a closer look at some categories of people who steal and over-shop or overspend. Taking theft first, I have theorized there are primarily seven types of people who steal:
- Common Thieves/Professionals — The plain opportunists who work individually or in “rings” to shoplift or steal from work purely for profit or greed. It’s a job to them, whether part-time or full-time. Most won’t benefit from C.A.S.A. or therapy. (10%)
- Drug Addicts/Gambling Addicts — Those who steal to support an underlying addiction. They usually need treatment for their underlying addiction(s) first but may have picked up a theft addiction along the way. (10%)
- The Impoverished — Those who perceive that they need to steal to survive. It’s tempting to put morality on a shelf during tough times but don’t let people justify it. Explore resources and issues of pride and fear in asking for help. Often grief and loss issues are present. (10%)
- Thrill Seekers — Mostly younger people who steal as a dare, due to peer pressure, or who are drawn to various risk-taking behaviors. They must discover how this developed and find safer, more affirming ways to experience the excitement. (10%)
- Absent-minded — Mostly older people, those on medications, those with cognitive disorders, or those who need to slow down their pace. Accidents do happen… but tell that one to the judge! (1%)
- Kleptomaniacs — Those who steal impulsively, not out of anger, mostly to calm themselves when anxious. Items stolen are usually discarded, hoarded, or not even needed. Treatment usually is with medication and cognitive-behavioral therapy. (1%)
- Addictive-Compulsives — Those who tend to get a rush from stealing but stealing is the acting out of emotions, the ritual effort to distract oneself from pain and to make life right. The stealing is the drug. Medication and therapy are often essential but may also need ongoing recovery and support. (58%)
Similarly, there are several categories of compulsive shoppers or spenders:
- Classic Compulsives—Those who habitually overshops or overspends, especially when triggered by painful emotions or events. Shopping or spending is like a drug.
- Bargain Shoppers—Those driven by the need to get a good deal—regardless of income level. They often feel “one up” or “victorious” and often get into debt nonetheless.
- Image Shoppers—Those who buy things less for the inherent value of the item and more for the status of the item or the way they feel or think they will be perceived by others. Their self-esteem is all tied up in images and things.
- Trophy Shoppers—Those who typically buy less to impress others and more to feel an inner satisfaction of buying a rare or expensive item. It becomes problematic when it takes up time and effort and money and is outward-focused satisfaction.
- Collector Shoppers—Similar to trophy shoppers except there is usually more frequent shopping and accumulation of things to the point of hoarding. Items are often symbolic and collecting is obsessive and control-oriented.
- Co-Dependent Shoppers—Those who buy things primarily for other people to gain or secure love or approval and to keep others from leaving. They feel their primary worth or value is in what they can give others.
- Bulimic Shoppers—Similar to actual bulimia, these are folks who typically go on a shopping or spending binge and then feel guilt, shame, fear, or remorse and attempt to return items or things purchased. The cycle repeats over and over.
There are those who are less concerned with “things” than experiences or who may make occasional—rather than frequent—purchases that are financially excessive. Overspenders may splurge on dining out, vacations, theatre/concerts, hosting parties/weddings/gatherings, or may exceed their budget on cars, homes, an engagement/wedding ring, or other “lifestyle purchases.” With compulsive theft and spending, there are roughly ten emotional issues that often
are at the root of the person’s behavior, the fuel that is driving it. These motivations can be applied to other addictions as well.
They include:
- Anger — to try to take back, to make life fair
- Grief — to fill the void due to a loss
- Depression — to distract from sadness, to get a lift
- Anxiety/Stress — to calm fears, to comfort
- Acceptance / Competition – to fit in
- Power and Control – to counteract feeling lost or powerless
- Boredom/Excitement – to live life on the edge
- Shame/Low Self-esteem — to validate a reason to feel bad or to create a sense of competence in something even if it is a negative behavior like stealing
- Entitlement/Reward — to compensate oneself for over-giving or having suffered
- Rebellion/Initiation – to break into one’s authentic identity
I offer this work not to make excuses for stealing or over-shopping/overspending but to help us become aware that we need treatment alternatives. We need to look at the roots of these behaviors which are not merely personal or familial but are related to increased stress, materialism, emptiness, and addiction in our society and world. We need more research and new perspectives. Like with any epidemic, the longer we wait, the more we will all suffer. My hope is that with more open conversation and more resources available, we shall see a transformation in the awareness of how we view these behaviors. Then, and only then, will we attain a more honest, balanced, and abundant society and the world.
Photo Credit: Courtesy of Oprah.com
