• About
  • Contact
  • Advertise
  • Subscribe
  • Shop Merch
SWHELPER
  • Login
  • Home
  • Opinion
  • News
  • Politics
  • Education
  • Health
  • Mental Health
  • LGBTQ
  • Justice
No Result
View All Result
Post Jobs
Subscribe
  • Home
  • Opinion
  • News
  • Politics
  • Education
  • Health
  • Mental Health
  • LGBTQ
  • Justice
No Result
View All Result
SWHELPER
No Result
View All Result
ADVERTISEMENT
Home News

Will Opposition MP’s Male Shame Change Domestic Violence?

Philip PatstonbyPhilip Patston
09/02/2014
in News, Politics
0
Will Opposition MP’s Male Shame Change Domestic Violence?
0
SHARES
0
VIEWS
Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

There’s been a lot of talk, both for and against, NZ opposition leader David Cunliffe‘s recent public confession that he is sorry to be a man. While I admire his intent, I think his choice of words let him down and weakened his message for several reasons.

Firstly, personalising the message made it all about him and took the focus off women, for whom he was trying to advocate. He would have come across more genuinely had he apologised, on behalf of men, for the violence and abuse women endure from men.

David-Cunliffe-1200Secondly, Cunliffe’s apology for who he is — a man — indicates shame. Researcher Brené Brown is very clear, in her discourse on shame, that shame inhibits change. You simply cannot change your behaviour if you feel bad about who you are. The antidote for shame is the admission of vulnerability. Men, in particular, are nurtured to be invulnerable — which of course they aren’t — and so many if not most men feel shame about their vulnerability.

This is where Cunliffe’s apology went awry. Any man feeling shameful about their vulnerability will have subconsciously been reminded of it. “Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness,” says Brown. Discomfort and the reasons for it are, for men, seen as weakness and will often be played out through anger and violence.

Another gaff for Cunliffe was the “man up” challenge. The Representation Project has made a film about the impact of the misrepresentation of masculinity on boys. Telling men to “man up” is telling them to do exactly what they’ve been falsely led to believe — that they are invulnerable and that violence leads to respect.

Finally, unwittingly, the Labour leader incited the “not every man” rebuff, which totally sidelines the issue that men, as a whole, need to take responsibility of the fact that violence against women is a male issue. Instead, he has created the senseless debate over whether all men are violent to women, which is obviously untrue. But all men need to be concerned that a lot of us are.

So good on David for trying to take on the Goliathian isssue of male violence against women. Unfortunately, by misrepresenting the issue’s complexity, he may have had less of an impact than he could have.

[youtube=”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hc45-ptHMxo”]

Share this:

  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
Tags: Brené BrownDavid CunliffeDomestic ViolenceShamesorryviolencevulnerability
Previous Post

Social Workers, Watch Your Language

Next Post

The True End to the 2014 NCGA Short Session

Next Post
The True End to the 2014 NCGA Short Session

The True End to the 2014 NCGA Short Session

Please login to join discussion
ADVERTISEMENT

  • Ending the Therapeutic Relationship: Creative Termination Activities

    Ending the Therapeutic Relationship: Creative Termination Activities

    94 shares
    Share 0 Tweet 0
  • What Feelings Are In Your Heart: An Art Therapy Exercise for Kids

    694 shares
    Share 0 Tweet 0
  • The Biopsychosocial Perspective to Mental Health and Illness

    3 shares
    Share 0 Tweet 0
  • My Journey as a Teacher and the Future of Education

    0 shares
    Share 0 Tweet 0
  • Fast and Furious Star Paul Walker Died During Charity Event for Philippines Typhoon Victims

    0 shares
    Share 0 Tweet 0
ADVERTISEMENT
SWHELPER

We bring content to support you and the people you care about in their various stages of life. If you are searching in google on how to help or assist a loved one or yourself, check out our content.

LEARN MORE »

  • Terms of Service
  • Article Submissions
  • Advertising
  • Shop Merch

© 2024 SWHELPER.

Welcome Back!

Login to your account below

Forgotten Password?

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

Log In
If You Enjoyed This Post
Join Our Newsletter
Subscribe
Give it a try, you can unsubscribe anytime.
Close
No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • Subscribe
  • Category
    • Business
    • Culture
    • Economy
    • Lifestyle
    • Health
    • Travel
    • Opinion
    • Politics
    • Tech
    • World
  • Find/Post Jobs
  • Contact Us
  • Shop Merch

© 2024 SWHELPER.

This website uses cookies. By continuing to use this website you are giving consent to cookies being used. Visit our Privacy and Cookie Policy.
 

Loading Comments...
 

You must be logged in to post a comment.