“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” Albert Einstein
In times of change, challenge, and disillusionment, you might be feeling like you want to stand up, speak up, and protest. If you are a helping professional that urge might be so strong and very deeply rooted in the foundations of your vocational role.
You want to take people by the shoulders and knock some sense into them. Are you the only one who can see what is wrong with this picture? Someone has to do something.
When things happen in our society that we don’t understand or don’t agree with, the Internal Activist comes to the forefront. We must help educate people! We must stand up for what is right! We must speak out against the wrongness of the situation.
Protests and demonstrations have taken place throughout history and are occurring in our world right now. Many protests have resulted in more violence, more problems to solve and a greater degree of separation. Sometimes, it changes things and sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes, things get better and sometimes they get worse.
Embody A New Way
If we want to create change, open minds, or change the world, it is time to embody a new way.
When someone is doing something we find offensive, perhaps, they are acting out of ignorance or maybe, they just don’t care. One of the first things we try to do is make them understand. We are convinced if they just had all the facts and could see how this situation affects so many people in adverse ways, they would stop and would be on board with our mission and it would all be fine. And sometimes, this is all it takes.
I recall a conversation with a young man I worked with many years ago. He had sustained a traumatic brain injury and he was convinced that other people needed to understand how challenging life was for him. He just knew that if they understood brain injury and all that comes with it, they would behave differently, they would choose differently, and life would be easier for him.
Any of us who have a cause in life often feel this way. Other people need to understand ______ fill in the blank. The cold hard truth of the matter is that they don’t need to understand. They really don’t. Quite often, we are not motivated to understand the plight of others unless we are somehow personally impacted by it.
Well, unless you are someone who is guided to be of service.
Don’t judge the judger. If we meet someone else’s offensive remarks or lack of empathy with our own judgement and inability to understand, we are just adding more of the same energy to the situation. Nothing changes.
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” Martin Luther King Jr.
Ramming our beliefs and knowledge down other people’s throats does not open the doors to understanding ~ it creates defensiveness and shuts down communication.
Guidelines for A New Activism
So, stand up. Speak up. And consider the following suggestions:
- As Mother Teresa suggested, “Be for something instead of Against something.” Stay focused on what you wish to create instead of what you oppose. Put your energy into being the embodiment of whatever it is. If you want peace, be peaceful in your communication. Bring a peaceful presence. If you don’t bring what you wish to see, that energy may not be there at all. Result ~ Things stay the same and you remain frustrated.
- Be willing to be wrong. Things might look dismal now AND it is still possible that there is much in any situation that can be used for good ~ much that can happen to move towards a more positive outcome. You are being challenged to maintain the essence of Unconditional Positive Regard. Result ~ You feel powerful in your own actions by staying true to your personal values.
- Do not let someone else’s behaviour dictate your actions. Resist the urge to define them by it. No matter how challenging it can be, you are always responsible for what you choose to do ~ No. Matter. What. Separating the person from the behaviour is helpful in reaching a place of non-judgement and opens the door to understanding. Stay curious and maintain personal responsibility. Result ~ Your Freedom.
- In the face of fear and all the “what ifs”, remain hopeful. You can either add to the drama by hopping on the fear train to nowhere or you can stay centered in a place of hope inside of your heart. Expect a miracle. Hope for the best. Keep your eyes open so you can respond as you need to and keep yourself protected on all levels. If you have to think in terms of “what if” try following that statement with the outcome you wish to see. “What if this could all turn out well in the end?” What if? Result ~ Your peace.
Perhaps, this comes across as “pie-in-the-sky” to some, and I’m okay with that. Detaching from the outcome and the reactions of others is also a powerful practice. Remember, at the end of the day, you stand in front of your own mirror; you lie in bed with your own thoughts and feelings. This is where you have immense power to be the creator of your own experience.
As you step more fully into this place of power and commitment to your own sense of well being and peace, you demonstrate who you are in this world, and you walk the walk. It may be the most powerful statement you ever make.