I have always been interested in astrology, mostly for entertainment purposes. Over the years, I would spend time reading my horoscope in the paper or digging through the odd astrological book. I would kind of play it in whatever way suited me at the time. If I liked what was being said, then I bought into it. If I didn’t like it, I tossed it out. It’s just astrology, after all.

Well, that all changed for me about a year ago when I was introduced to a man who has spent his life researching, discovering, and developing an approach based in astrology and integrated with spiritual principles, making a real difference for me.

His name is Christopher Witecki and he discovered the 11 Steps to Sirius Joy. He is the Sensei to Sirius*JoY! Christopher is a psychic-astrologer, web TV series host, and software creator who combines his unique talents to form a cohesive life-coaching program for people seeking to find their joy and happiness. His weekday series “Namaste Today” provides daily spiritual guidance inspired by astrology and focuses on individual daily achievement with practical applications.

I’ll tell you more about Christopher late. For now, I want to tell you how these steps have changed my life.

Learning about the different states of being which exist within us has provided me with so much more information in order to understand the process we go through as we experience our lives and create our experience.

Self-Compassion

I’ve had a couple of key takeaways this past year that have changed the playing field for me entirely, both personally and professionally. Christopher taught me about the need for Self-Compassion and how deeply lacking I had been in this regard.

Previously, I had equated self-compassion with letting myself off the hook when I felt I had screwed up. It was really more like making excuses as opposed to genuine self-compassion.

Before, I thought it had to do with giving myself permission to be “lazy” instead of doing something for my health because after all, I deserved it. It was really a justification for my lack of follow through and commitment to myself and to my own wellbeing.

When I felt sad or afraid or anxious, my past behavior would be to go to something for relief as quickly as possible whether it was destructive or constructive. The goal was to get away from the feeling instead of acknowledging it and honoring its message.

When I most needed someone by my side ~ when I most needed to be by my own side ~ I was nowhere to be found. And I actually believed I was pretty good at demonstrating self-compassion. I mean, I knew I could be really hard on myself and wallow in guilt and shame for longer than I needed to, but still…

Well, I realized after absorbing the material I was learning from Christopher that I had a long way to go in my capacity for self-compassion.

When we are lacking in self-compassion it shows up in so many ways in our lives. We feel it in the times of resentment and remorse. We sense it when we step out of integrity and deny our own truth for any reason. We hear it when we tune into the bully inside our heads which never lets up. We recognize it when we see ourselves accepting scraps and crumbs because we don’t believe we deserve any better. We have settled.

Recently, I had an epiphany. The situation itself was small in the grand scheme of things but the insight and shift was profound.

I was sitting drinking my morning coffee ~ the only one I want and enjoy all day.   A few seconds earlier when I had added the cream, I noticed there were a few flakes floating around and I got to scooping them out with a spoon. I took a little sniff followed by a little sip and thought to myself, “It’s okay…I can drink this.”

A few sips later, I was fully aware the cream was sour but I kept trying to convince myself it would be okay and I could just “suck it up,” so to speak. Suddenly, I realized at that moment, I didn’t even think enough of myself to pour it down the drain and make a fresh cup. I sat there trying to make my way through a cup of coffee I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Wow!

I declared right then and there this habit of settling for something or pretending something is good enough when it clearly isn’t was over in my life. Done. Finite. And I didn’t take another sip.

Later that morning, I heard Christopher say quite often we only think of self-compassion when we do the “big” things like leaving a toxic job situation or relationship, perhaps after suffering for many years. But, the truth is, acting with self-compassion is most powerful in response to the “little” things; the way we treat ourselves each day.

Feeling Good

Another profound piece of Witecki Wisdom which has altered my life in the past year is this notion that my primary task on a day-to-day basis is to feel good. Wow! Really? Could it be that simple?

Well, when you think about it, it is. If I’m engaging in authentic self-compassion with a focus on my ability to feel good, I’m likely to be a much more powerful force for love in the world. I’ll bet you any Service I wish to extend to others will be more genuine, of higher quality, and ultimately fulfilling to me as well. If I’m feeling the love, there is a greater chance others will feel it, too.

I have come to realize honoring my heart’s desires is a very profound way to demonstrate self-compassion. I don’t have to make myself jump through hoops to prove I am worthy of what I want and need to make life safe, secure, comfortable, easy, and fun. And neither do you.

About Christopher

Witecki has pioneered a new arm of astrological study he calls “step astrology.” His method combines the knowledge of numerology, astrology, and sacred geometry into a definitive, step-by-step method to self-awareness. His approach known as “the 11º steps to Sirius*JoY” walks a person through a process of self-enlightenment, opening the doors for personal joy and manifesting abundance.

Born to a psychic beautician and a self-proclaimed Jedi knight, Christopher grew up in a spiritually eclectic household of Catholicism, Buddhism, Tarot, Star Wars, and the occult. He discovered his passion for studying astrology at age 19 while pursuing filmmaking at Columbia College, in Chicago Illinois.

In 2006, at age 33, Christopher launched his first YouTube web series, “Soul Horoscopes” where he hosted a video horoscope for all 12 signs, five days a week. (60 videos a week) He continued at this pace for five years, producing over 16,000 videos before moving on to host and produce a variety of free spiritual videos on topics ranging from Feng Shui to Archangels.

In July 2014, Christopher began his most recent web series, “Namaste Today.” Airing on weekdays, Christopher provides the “Zodiac Weather” of the day and dives into a fascinating spiritual topic with “Tea Time.” The series compliments his daily Sensei Service. To watch Christopher or book a personal reading with him, please visit www.siriusjoy.tv.

Listen In

Believe me, I could go on and on but I would rather you learn more about the Steps to Sirius Joy from the Creator himself ~ Christopher Witecki. Chris joined me as my guest on the Spiritual Astrology episode of Serving Consciously.

Christopher’s work is mind-blowing and heart expanding. Where do you stand on the relationship between astrology and spirituality? Tune in to other live shows and become a part of the conversation.

How often do you really pay attention to your choice of words as you express yourself?

Do you believe in the power of language to create an experience?

Constructive Use of Language

I have long believed in the power of language and the energy we create when we choose our words carefully and what happens when we don’t.

In health care and human services, for example, we are bombarded with labels, diagnoses, syndromes, and a plethora of academic and organizational language. Within the system we currently live in where funding for services is of great focus, this kind of terminology works in our favor when we are seeking access to services and supports.

We use this language to prove that the service is needed.

Destructive Use of Language

On the other hand, much of this language serves to perpetuate stigma, prejudice, discrimination, marginalization, and ultimately separation. We tend to become reliant on certain words and jargon in order to get our point across quickly. But is this really what it’s all about?

When I began my academic preparation for human services work, I was accepted into a program that was called Mental Retardation Counselor. Shortly, after the first semester began, the program was renamed and became Developmental Services Worker. We were encouraged right from the start to always think in terms of “person first.” So, instead of saying the “autistic child,” it was preferable to say the “child with autism.”

Feels like a step in the right direction, however, if we look closely, there is still an emphasis on “autism.” And while it is so important to be aware of and honor the unique characteristics and needs of each person we are serving, it is equally crucial that we do not use these terms and diagnoses to create a limited identity for people.

For example, if you are familiar at all with the word, “autism,” there are likely a whole slew of images, ideas, and interpretations you make almost automatically about the person I am describing. And whether you would describe these images as positive or negative, affirming or destructive, the jump to the conclusion is the real problem here. At that moment, intentional or not, we have put this person inside a particular “box.” We also do this when we refer to mental health, substance abuse, survivors of childhood trauma, and on and on.

Conscious Use of Language

The challenge is to continue to open our minds so that we learn from each individual we serve and those we are blessed with in our personal lives what it means to be them. How does this person live their identity? What ELSE makes them who they are?

How can I use language to demonstrate my openness and willingness to learn about the people who come into my life? How can I speak in ways that show my deep respect for humanity and my commitment to acceptance?

This is an ongoing challenge for those of us involved in Vocations of Service. It is a continual process of integration of new knowledge, self-reflective practice, and engagement with others.

It is about being conscious as we choose the words which will best express our clearest and deepest intentions and beliefs. And if we get tongue-tied, we can always come back with something new to say.

What do you wish to see in your Service to others? How can you communicate with others so they know what you are all about?

What do you intend to create and contribute to this world? How would you explain this to a child?

If you could imagine the best possible scenario in your communities, what language would best describe it?

This is just a glimpse of a much larger discussion.

Join Us

I dove more deeply into this material in this episode of Serving Consciously with my guest, Valerie Marks.

Valarie Marks is a retired public school teacher who left her career at the age of 32 to start an educational services organization grounded in the principles of Abraham Maslow’s “Hierarchy of Needs;” an organization providing parents and educational institutions with resources to best nurture, protect, and educate the generations here to Re-create our world.

During her time in the classroom, Valarie also developed an English Language Arts curriculum which uses rhythmic thought patterns to teach academics, not only to build analytical skills within Common Core, but also to open up the student’s psyche for creativity and receptivity.

Valarie is also a mother to three children of her own, ages 10, 8, and 6. Because one of her sons was identified as autistic just months after her leap of faith into retirement, Valarie’s life mission in creating the “Maslow Educational Services Organization” took a sharp turn, pulling her out of the classroom entirely and deep into the world of Autism. With a population each so uniquely divine, this new chapter deepened her understanding of the needs and challenges facing the youth of today.

Valarie is currently stepping back into the classroom through her new company, “Marks Education,” where the mission is to teach children how to look at the whole English language for its individual parts, so they can craft their own words to accurately express their ideas, thoughts, and feelings, as well as to keenly understand the words and intentions of others.

She also speaks her Truth to a more intellectual audience through blogs on her Facebook page ~ Valarie Marks, through writing and short videos on topics about self-acceptance, intimacy, and unconditional love.

Valarie is here to talk about how she is serving consciously through her life mission: teaching adults how to nurture, protect, and educate a generation here to deconstruct our current world not just to restore it, but creatively recreate life as we know it into a beautiful future.

Valarie’s work is so important for those of us who wish to be actively involved in recreating the world.

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Does language have energy and power in your books? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Meditative Psychotherapy is a unique synthesis of Eastern and Western thought that illuminates each discipline’s strengths and weaknesses in ways that show us how they can enrich each other.

The three elements of Meditative Psychotherapy include “stereophonic listening, understanding and meaning and liberated intimacy.” It involves the centering of self and quieting of the mind to reach greater levels of Self-Connection and deeper experiences of connection with others. And we know that deeper connection with others is the pathway to creating Transformative Relationships ~ another element of the Conscious Service Approach.

Dr. Jeffery Rubin

Jeffery Rubin, Ph.D., is the creator of meditative psychotherapy, a practice he developed through insights gained from decades of study, teaching, and helping thousands of people flourish.

The author of the critically acclaimed books Psychotherapy and Buddhism, The Good Life, and A Psychoanalysis for Our Time, Dr. Rubin is a practicing psychotherapist in New York City and Bedford Hills, NY, and has taught at various universities, psychoanalytic institutes, and Buddhist and yoga centers.

He lectures around the country and has given workshops at the United Nations, the Esalen Institute, the Open Center, the 92nd Street Y, and Yoga Sutra. His pioneering approach to Buddhism and psychotherapy has been featured in The New York Times Magazine.

I am intrigued by paradox. I love the grey area and I am curious to explore the opposite ends of the spectrum. When we talk about Meditation and Psychotherapy, we are doing just that.

Many years ago when I decided to return to university to finish my degree, I made a choice that gave me the opportunity to actively focus my learning in this way. I had previously completed a number of credits towards a degree in Psychology before putting my academic career on hold to have babies. During that time, life changed immensely and when I would think about finishing my degree, I experienced a range of emotions. Sometimes, I would think, “Oh who cares if I ever finish it?” and other times, I felt compelled to complete it simply because I didn’t like the feeling of leaving things undone.

Here is a great example of the power of informal learning ~ the wisdom we gain through simply living our lives that is often disregarded in our society. As a side note, I am convinced when it comes to being of Service in the world, we must begin to honor more deeply the wisdom gained through the school of life in ways that integrate what we innately know as human beings with the theoretical and foundational philosophies associated with helping professions.

Anyway, one day, I decided it was time to go back and finish that degree. As a result of the soul-searching I’d been doing, I couldn’t bring myself to simply return for 3 credits and complete the Psychology degree; it just wasn’t the crux of what most interested me anymore. So, I enrolled in a program that would have me graduate with a double major in Psychology and Religious Studies. I didn’t realize at the time I would be embarking on a journey that would challenge me in paradoxical ways and pull me in opposite directions at times. And I wouldn’t trade that experience for the world.

Opposite Ends of The Spectrum

Psychology is considered a science. There is research and studies and numbers and stats to consider. The emphasis is on proving something and generating data in order to understand human experience.

Religious Studies, depending on where you focus, is much more abstract, without much physical evidence, and has very little to do with numbers and data. Well, at least this was true for me as I chose courses more focused on Spirituality as opposed to the history of Religion or the state of the Church in our society.

People used to ask me “What are you going to do with that degree?” In other words, how would this benefit me vocationally? I could never answer that question. And I still don’t have a solid response. What I can say is it was important to me to follow my curiosity and to follow the path which held the most passion and interest for me. I knew somehow this combination of learning was a way of honoring what I already knew and what I wanted to learn. And I knew it was related to my desire to be of Service in the world.

And you know what? I have drawn on the learning I gained through my studies in Psychology and Religious Studies, coupled with my background in Developmental Services to create the foundation of what is now the Conscious Service Approach.

It All Works Together for Good

There is no one right way or one path to go down. One thing does not have to become wrong in order to make something else right. We can combine various approaches in order to come up with a new perspective.

And that is what Meditative Psychotherapy is all about. A blend of Eastern traditions associated with the Buddhist practice of meditation and the Western philosophies of psychotherapy, meditative psychotherapy holds the tension between analyzing the human experience and letting go of the story all at once.