Self-Connection Through Daily Mindfulness

If you are anything like me, you may have confused mindfulness with meditation; something requiring you to be in a certain space, a particular position and removed from distraction or other activity.

Well, I’ve come to learn that while mindfulness practice can be enhanced through meditation, they are not one in the same.

Mindfulness is about bringing conscious awareness and presence to what is right in front of us or perhaps, what is occurring within us as an emotional, physical, spiritual or intellectual sensation.

The Heart of the Matter

Before I had even heard the term mindfulness, I received a teaching that helped me to understand it more clearly today.

Many years ago, I attended a silent retreat centered in Buddhist meditation practice. We spent many hours in a seated position. Silent. During the course of the weekend, we were also introduced to chanting.

A space had been carved in the silence for a question and answer period on the last day of the retreat. Most of the questions focused on the accuracy of the chant; saying the right words, holding the right tone and doing it in the right order.

Our teacher for the weekend guided us to recognize that it was not about right or wrong, that the clarity of the words, the volume of the chant or the correct order or perfect pronunciation was not at the heart of the matter.

We were reminded that feeling into the practice was the most crucial element. The ability to hold a pure and objective intention to simply engage in the moment within our hearts would be more powerful than a day’s worth of disconnected chanting.

So, when mindfulness became a hot topic of conversation and sought after state of being, I was reminded of this learning as I struggled to understand what mindfulness would look like in my day to day life.

Some of the essential ingredients involved in mindfulness include acceptance, non-judgement, willingness to observe, openness to feeling, and release of resistance.

Mindfulness.  It’s a Gateway to Self-Connection

Here’s what I have noticed. Mindfulness leads to self-connection. Mindfulness is a pathway to self-connection. In self-connection, I have a front row seat to my own experience including the emotions, the feelings, the thoughts, the beliefs, the desires of my heart and I become intrigued and curious about this exploration.

Using mindfulness as a gateway to self-connection makes it easier to stay out of the stories that we often create in order to make sense of our circumstances in a logical and intellectual way. This can be helpful or harmful depending on the details of the storyline.

In a mindful place as you experience deeper levels of self-connection you can begin to cultivate a deeper capacity to witness yourself. You become the observer who is deeply present and engaged AND also open to whatever arises for you through your senses. And this is where self-compassion is born.

Self-compassion is the capacity to hold space for our own evolution and process without expecting it to be different in any way and to love ourselves through it all. There is no need to resist what we discover, no need to berate ourselves for anything and no need to fix. Self-compassion is the utter acceptance and unconditional love for you.

And guess what? This depth of self-connection and self-compassion expands your ability to offer connection and compassion to others. Real, genuine, authentic connection and compassion.

Is there anything more powerful than that within the context of transformative relationships?

It is a practice that deepens your experience of joy and softens your times of sorrow. It is a practice that provides a glimpse, moment by moment into your authentic nature. Your most powerful gifts of service to others is found right there.

With a mindful approach, you can move away from “right and wrong,”  step out of the contrast of “good and bad” and embrace what is in this moment. The only “right and wrong” that becomes important is what feels right or wrong to your own heart.

Mindfulness Shows Promise as We Age, but Study Results Are Mixed

COLUMBUS, Ohio – As mindfulness practices rise in popularity and evidence of their worth continues to accumulate, those who work with aging populations are looking to use the techniques to boost cognitive, emotional and physiological health.

But studies so far have shown mixed results in the elderly, and more investigation is needed to determine exactly how best to apply mindfulness in that population, a new review of the research to date has found.

A majority of the 27 studies in the review suggest that the focused attention at the core of mindfulness benefits older people, but others don’t point to improvements. And that should prompt more rigorous investigations in search of interventions likely to do the most good, researchers from The Ohio State University found. Their analysis appears in the journal Frontiers in Aging Neuroscience.

“Mindfulness is a practice that really serves as a way to foster a greater quality of life and there’s been some thought that it could help with cognitive decline as we age,” said Stephanie Fountain-Zaragoza, lead author of the study and a graduate student in psychology.

“Given the growing interest in mindfulness in general, we wanted to determine what we know right now so that researchers can think about where we go from here,” she said.

The good news so far: The evidence from a variety of studies points to some benefits for older adults, suggesting that mindfulness training might be integrated into senior centers and group homes, the researchers found.

Older people are an especially important population to study given diminished social support, physical limitations and changes in cognitive health, the researchers point out.

Studies of mindfulness meditation usually involve three types of practices. The first, focused attention, involves sustained attention to a single thing (such as the breath) and an effort to disengage from other distractions.

Open monitoring meditation, often seen as the next step up in mindfulness, includes acknowledging the details of multiple phenomena (sensations, sounds, etc.) without selectively focusing on one of them.

“This includes being open to experiencing thoughts and sensations and emotions and taking them as they come and letting them go,” Fountain-Zaragoza said.

Loving-kindness meditation encourages a universal state of love and compassion toward oneself and others.

“The goal with this is to foster compassionate acceptance,” said senior author Ruchika Shaurya Prakash, director of Ohio State’s clinical neuroscience laboratory and an expert in mindfulness.

In addition to looking at how mindfulness contributed – or did not – to behavioral and cognitive functioning and to psychological wellbeing, some of the research also looked at its potential role in inflammation, which contributes to a variety of diseases.

In all categories of study, including inflammatory processes, Prakash and Fountain-Zaragoza found mixed results.

The hope is that mindfulness could help the elderly preserve attention and capitalize on emotional regulation strategies that naturally improve as we age, Prakash said.

“Around 50 percent of our lives, our minds are wandering and research from Harvard University has shown that the more your mind wanders, the less happy you are,” she said.

“Mindfulness allows you to become aware of that chaotic mind-wandering and provides a safe space to just breathe.”

In older people, mindfulness ideally has the potential to help with cognition, emotion and inflammation, but little research has been done so far and those studies that have been done have had mixed results and scientific limitations.

While most of the studies in the review showed positive results, the field is limited and would benefit greatly from larger randomized controlled trials, Fountain-Zaragoza said.

“We want to really be able to say that we have strong evidence that mindfulness is driving the changes we see,” she said.

7 Things Every Clinician Should Know About Introverts

introvert-extraverts
It’s not unusual for introverts to run across prejudice, even in the clinical setting. They are encouraged by spouses, bosses, and some therapists to be more “outgoing,” “on,” “cheerful,” and “energetic.” They are told that if they put more effort into what amounts to an extroverted way of being, that they will be happier, enjoy more success at work, and please the people around them.

Susan Cain makes the case in her bestselling Quiet that this bias stems from a culture that is predominated by extroverted ideals coupled with a misunderstanding of what constitutes introversion. As a psychotherapist who’s an introvert, I’ve developed an interest in this topic both personally and professionally. Here are some of the observations I’ve made about my clinical practice.

1. Introversion is normal.

Introversion/extroversion is one of the basic dimensions of personality. A preference for an introverted way of being is normal and includes more time for solitude, not wanting to assert oneself in a self-promotional way at work and other social situations, and a preference for, and even preoccupation with introspection.

Introversion is not synonymous with shyness, depression, or schizoid tendencies. It does, however, overlap with Elaine Aron’s concept of high sensitivity. Introverts are not misanthropes. Most have social skills comparable to extroverts.

Introversion and extroversion exist along a continuum and, according to Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) data, may be normally distributed. Therefore most people (two out of three) will be within one standard deviation of the mean and will have well expressed introvert and extrovert traits. Because of the need to act extroverted in many work and social situations, people who have an introverted center of gravity may wittingly or unwittingly be acting in extroverted manner. Having a better understanding of what it is to be an introvert can empower people to be more authentic and to practice better self-care.

2. You may be an introvert yourself.

Many helping professionals are introverts. They are drawn to counseling work by an interest in the inner workings of the mind and a preference for significant, one-on-one conversations. Even though the work is meaningful, it can be draining. If you are not predominately an extrovert, you will have to work to restore your energy from doing the work to offset exhaustion. Mindfulness can help with this process of energy restoration

3. There are methodological issues measuring introversion.

The most common research method for measuring introversion doesn’t measure introversion but rather the degree of extraversion that is present. Researchers Peter Hills and Michael Argyle are some of the few researchers to identify the anti-introvert bias present in research. They lament, “The view that extroversion is a preferred state has come to be widely accepted among social psychologists. In consequence, introverts are sometimes represented as withdrawn, isolated or lacking social competence, rather than as individuals who seek independence and autonomy.”

4. The culture is biased against introverts

Psychotherapist Ester Schaler Bucholz in her book The Call of Solitude pointed out, “Health professionals are actually not that different from the average person. Like a relative or companion, they may see the self-possessed introspective person as less malleable, less normal.” They differ in how they feel when those skills are expressed and the situations they prefer to express them within. For example, I prefer an in depth conversation to small talk of the cocktail party variety. My appetite for socialization differs in that I feel a strong need for compensatory solitude after most social forays.

5. You probably have a lot of introverts in your clinical practice

Psychotherapist and introvert advocate Laurie Helgoe discusses in her book Introvert Power that introverts are more introspective and curious about their inner life and therefore more prone to present to treatment. This could create a bias since the depressed or anxious introverts are sitting in your consulting room in greater numbers than extroverts with the same degree of symptoms. They don’t have more psychopathology, just more willingness to address it

6. Mindfulness is a powerful tool for introverts

Introspection has its own set of pitfalls: rumination, obsession, and worry. Introverts can get stuck in their stories and may need help getting out of their heads and into the present moment. As the embodied practice of awareness to this moment, mindfulness is an ideal fit for introverts. Mindfulness meditation practice can help them (and everyone) to better navigate the interior dimensions of the mind to foster creative imagination while mitigating rumination.

7. Introverted ways of being can be helpful for introverts and extroverts alike

As a culture, we have gotten out of balance and squeezed quiet and solitude out of our lives. This, no doubt, contributes to the stressfulness of life. We work longer hours, devote more time to children, and have access to 24/7 information and social media. Mindfulness meditation can help to restore quiet solitude in everyone’s lives. Extroverts can benefit from more quiet; introverts desperately need it.

Exit mobile version