[This is a contribution by Elizabeth Bennett who is one of the leading authorities on Adult Survivors of Bullying/Peer Abuse in North America and Europe. Also, she is a pioneer in the field of bullying. She grew up in the state of South Carolina and received an M.Ed in Guidance and Counseling Services and also has a background in Psychology. Since 1995 she has worked on the problem of Peer Abuse through observational research and theory development. Through radio, newspaper, news casts, books, newsletters, articles and other forms of media she has been able to educate others throughout the United States and even in Canada and the United Kingdom. She speaks to both children and adults throughout the US. Currently, she is certified through the Olweus Bullying Prevention Program. She is caring for her elderly mother and her ginger cat Popcat.]
The problem of bullying is full on abuse. As we have learned over the past few years it is becoming a greater concern in society. However, what is still lacking is the fact that people are still not associating this with abuse. Its high time we lump this with child, domestic, sexual, elder, animal and other abuses out there. Bullying is abuse and that is Peer Abuse. This is abuse that is between peers and happens frequently in friendships. Yes, cycles of abuse can occur between friends just like they do between child/parent, spouse/spouse and like these other forms mentioned above. In this case, its friend/friend.
This site is mainly dedicated to Adult Survivors of Bullying which is Peer Abuse. There are many out there who still suffer the trauma that this abuse has done during childhood and as adults. They have a myriad of problems such as clinical depression, social anxiety, PTSD, anxiety itself, panic attacks and personality disorders like obsessive-compulsive Disorder. These childhood bullies have grown up with problems of their own. Some are narcissistic while others have become psycho or sociopaths. Sadistic behavior can also be included here. Others are just outright angry. There are some who have depression as well. There are many variables existing here and we need to be aware of them. No, not all of these adult abusers are psychopaths or sociopaths. There is no one category to fit them in. We must look at the individual as a whole before making these determinations.
Some of these adult survivors have abused others in their lifetime. Each of us have been abusers, abused and even aware and have done nothing to help ourselves or those around us. Currently, nothing is out there clincally and that needs to change. Yes, mental health centers are getting on board. However, this is not as seen as abuse and that needs to change. As a whole, this is not healthy behavior but dysfunctional and we need to stop accepting this as normal. Adult survivors are not socially healthy for the most part and have trouble maintaining relationships. Of course this depends on the severity of the problem and the individual themselves but the bottom line is that these are some realities involved. This is not only a mental health issue but a health hazard. Companies loose money daily as a result of this and schools risk losing funding. How can we even cope in a healthy manner with these stresses around us?
Adult Survivors are out there dealing with these problems in their own way. In some cases, the pain is so severe that they are having trouble coping with life. Others are just angry and want to punch someones light out. At the risk of their own well being, some survivors are coping by speaking out and educating others while still healing themselves. There are many who cannot hold a steady job or may work independently to avoid any drama. There are some who are horrible with conflict and it sets them back. Despite any of this, these problems exist and these adults are bleeding inside. Something has got to give……
It is important to start looking at the psychology of the abuser, abused and those who are aware. They mirror what is known as the bully, bullied and the bystander in our schools and workplaces. These dysfunctional situations affect everyone and we need to be helping all involved. Really helping like treating them for depression or any other problems they have resulting from the abuse they have survived.
Mission Statement of Peer Abuse: To educate society itself on the fact that bullying is outright abuse. Through speaking or one on one consultation, educating on the clinical and psychological aspects are important and will be done in helping to gain a broader understanding of this problem. You can connect with Elizabeth at www.peerabuse.net.
Guest Panelist, Author, and Adult Survivor Elizabeth Bennett gives information and tips on dealing with abuse in the workplace.
Guest Panelist, Author, and Adult Survivor Elizabeth Bennett gives information and tips on dealing with abuse in the workplace.
http://storify.com/SWUnited/peer-abuse-and-adult-survivors-of-abuse-swunited-t
